🔗 Should I Try To Repair My Relationship With My Family? - Paging Dr. NerdLove

Quite frankly, I am not a believer that just being related to someone entitles them to your love, respect or a place in their lives, especially as we grow up. The old chestnut of “blood is thicker than water” is one of those sayings that people often misunderstand_ because they never hear the whole saying._ We assume that it means “family comes before everything else”, but the full saying is ”the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” – that is: the chosen family is ultimately more meaningful and more important than one’s family by birth.

That doesn’t mean that your biological family is unimportant by definition or that they will never matter as much as the family you choose to make. Your biological family can still be your family of choice. But that relationship isn’t _automatically _and inherently more important than any other, requiring your love, respect and place of importance in your life just because you share DNA or a name. And frankly, the idea that family automatically deserves your respect and love has caused a lot of harm as folks break themselves to pieces to maintain a relationship with family who only ever hurt them.

Love this bit from Dr. NerdLove’s latest column. I am finally building my family of choice.