hello miguel

  • Man I wish I had some weed tonight

  • Had a hard but fruitful family therapy session today. My father sucks EVEN MORE than I already thought he did

  • I am headed back to the old place again to meet a friend who is helping me pack up. I really hope we get a lot done tonight.

  • Me sitting up in a car seat(?) just after getting out of the NICU after being a premie baby

    Newborn baby lies in blue car seat, wearing white onesie with colorful train pattern, left hand raised to mouth. Soft pastel village scene with houses and clouds decorates the seat's fabric background, creating a gentle, dreamy atmosphere.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

  • Look at that handsome boy

    Young boy in white pajamas and glasses sits cross-legged on red carpet beneath Christmas tree, holding orange toy box. Colorfully wrapped presents surround him, creating festive holiday morning scene with cozy, excited atmosphere.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
  • Grandmother with silver hair and glasses holds serious-faced baby in red and blue outfit beside white birthday cake decorated with clown figure. Man in blue shirt stands nearby in warm indoor setting.

    my first birthday with my lola! no glasses yet. those come at two years old.

  • Smiling baby lies on colorful patterned blanket, wearing white onesie with blue trim and small floral details, one fist raised playfully. Soft pastel toys and cheerful nursery patterns fill the cozy background.

    me under a year old. i was born 10 weeks premature. had to stay in the hospital NICU for three months. i’m told this is soon after i was brought home.

  • Rode my bike again today. Therapy with my aunt/godmother/mom’s sister is going well. Looking at family photos she has and scanning them. Hearts heavy. Haven’t seen my parents' wedding photos before.

  • Rode my bike today

  • Being depressed sucks

  • Migraine. Feeling lotsa shame.

  • Can’t live here with my aunt. She has just as little emotional awareness as my dad. Feeling mega low. I’m all outta options

  • turns out you can’t get your parents' divorce court transcript without one of their ids/permission or submitting a formal appeal to the court

  • Trying family therapy with an older family member. Nervous about it.

  • Giant Bomb Simulator: https://youtu.be/yW3JrHH6Zc0

    “It’s a lockdown baby…”

    <>

  • Ate some expired beef yesterday. Feel like death

  • I just want a soft place to land to clear my head. This house with the threat of my unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic mother coming by is keeping me scared. I don’t know where to go

  • I feel so stuck. I think mom rang the doorbell here yesterday. I hate that I’m so fragile and triggered by her. I wish she was medicated a long time ago.

  • Ah shit. I read my calendar wrong. My session with my therapist was at 1PM not 2PM and I missed it. Ugh

  • I am waiting for a phone call and the window for it is 8am-4pm

  • I’m tired. I feel hopeless. I’m gonna have to live here at my aunt’s where my unmedicated mom sometimes comes to visit unannounced.

  • I’ve just been told about AmeriCorps as a path to employment and helping my community. Anyone work with them before?

  • Bought a gym membership and a combo lock. On a Treadmill. There’s showers here.

  • Called a friend. Talked me thru getting to my room in this horrible boarding house. Glad to be in my bed.

  • Slept in my car in the driveway of the place where I live last night because the tension inside with some housemates has me not feeling like my room is my sanctuary anymore

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