hello miguel

  • I’ve been recently feeling the same as Brad from “Brad and Will Made a Techpod”.

    I can’t fully relax playing a game or having a warm bath until I feel like I’ve settled… not everything perhaps but like a good chunk of things. My brain reminds me mostly of things like cleaning or organizing things.

    I’m working on deserving and letting myself have fun and relaxing.

    So I try to be like, “OK let’s settle five things and then bath and read my book."

  • memento mori mortality contemplation tattoo idea

    The image that inspired this new tattoo is from the memento mori widget in the “stoic” app on macOS. This would be my second tattoo.

    I’ve tried searching around but perhaps I just don’t know a formal term for it, but the general idea is a design I’d add to regularly. Or maybe it’s not as broad a concept as I think.

    I like the visual design language the app uses. All their views are stark and simple. However, I am not in love with it as art on my skin if I were to just copy it on over.

    Someone suggested rings that go around my arm and that seems cool. I could do five “bands” with 18 pips each. I want it visible to me when I look at my watch on my left wrist.

    I’ve seen this “track your time passed and life left” concept with keychains or two jars at home where you move an item at regular intervals, but having it as a tattoo as an always-there reminder seems lovely to me. The ritual of getting a new dot filled in every year sounds really fun!

    I’d love suggestions if you have ‘em!

    n.b. the WeCroak app is my current favorite memento mori

  • Codesmith - End of Week 5. Goodbye Junior portion!

    Whoops. Forgot to blog on Sunday, didn’t have the task in my Things repeating list.

    Week 5 was the last real week as Juniors. We learned about web pack. Webpack sets up web app websites. It usually has babel so stuff you write like React and SCSS can get transposed, translated down into vanilla Javascript. It also makes your code smaller so it loads faster.

    Then we had solo projects where I had this grand idea to make search work via the Giant Bomb Wiki API. I couldn’t even get my hard-coded fetch for the Super Mario Odyssey box art to display Mario’s handsome face. Sadly, my button didn’t work.

    Then we did our first scratch project where we have an idea and do a group project together form scratch.

    (originally drafted on Nov 23, 2020 at 9:01 AM)

  • Fri, Sep 20, 2013 1:56 AM

    Good late evening / early morning journal. I am here in my desk chair awake waiting for 3am EST to be sure that I can pre-order a new iPhone. I know that makes me insane.

    I am very sleepy. I haven’t had to stay up for a thing in a while.

    I need to go to the gym tomorrow. I was very disappointed today that my insurance doesn’t reimburse me even $50 for my gym membership. That $200 would be awesome. I want insurance like that one day. $200 would definitely almost cover my gym membership just for going 50 times in 24 weeks. That’s just a little more than twice a week to Gold’s. With my going three times a week I’d get my 50 times in less than five months.

    It really is GymPact on crack. Entirely subsidized gym membership just for going.

    I am every sleepy. I was going to go heat up some meat and rice but then I didn’t. It is too late to be eating.

    I need to get back to daily journaling and meditating and lean gains and all that. I need to take care oft brain better.

    My eye lids are heavy. I have an entire hour to go. Sheesh.

    I want to work at TWiT. I want to volunteer my voice to a blind folks home. I like performing. I am a ham.

    I mean am I just being over dramatic about feeling time breathing down my neck? About thinking that major mental illness can snipe me. That is a reality. It isn’t heart disease or diabetes, things that are well known and less stigmatized. People don’t get it. People don’t get the fear of losing myself and of running down this path that won’t bring me goddamn happiness before the randomness of neurons firing decides to rip me out of reality and out of lucidity.

    I love my dog. He likes to stick close by. He likes to give me kisses. And licks.

    My left calf is bleeding. Or was bleeding. Now I have blood on my right foot. Dunno why. Probably from the yard work.

    Hey I didn’t drink alcohol today. I think that is a small small victory.

    Wow. I am not even half way there. 750 words is a lot.

    I don’t think I’m ready to go back into dating just yet. I have no job. My brain is in scrambles. I kinda just want to get laid

    I like girls who are confident who know who they are. I guess that is why I am attracted to lesbians. They know who they are in the face of being different. They know that being who they are is way more important than making everyone else happy. Though being respectful of others doesn’t get tossed to the wayside in this scenario. It just doesn’t take absolute priority.

    selfie of miguel a masc filipino man with short hair and glasses in a room with orange walls

    59°F

    (manually moved here from Day One on 29-Oct-2023)

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